The Crush Incident

Every morning, I could see the same boy and girl waiting at the same bus stop as I do when I go to work. From their body language, I could tell that they do not know each other, and yet there is something about them that you can sense that they seem to know each other fairly well. It must be opposite attraction. Although I am not very good at having a crush, but I was once their age and did have a few crushes here and there, therefore I am positive that they are having a crush. And it is also because of them, that I remember the crush I had when I was only seventeen.

I didn’t know why but a girl who was seventeen years old should be vibrant and full spirited, but somehow I found it difficult to wake up early in the morning to attend Sunday church service. Until one fine day, I noticed him around.

The first time I saw him was the day he was one of the ushers. How should I describe him? He was wearing a pair of khaki pants with a white shirt and a black tie. He wasn’t very good looking but he had a certain charm that mesmerised me. To others I wouldn’t know if he’s considered good looking or not, but I just couldn’t seem to get my eyes away from him. I wasn’t worried that others would catch me staring at him. I was worried that he’d be scorched by my stares. I only knew that he looked so cool.

Ever since that Sunday, I was never late or skipped any of the Sunday service. In fact, he noticed me too for I was always bumming around. During this period, I’d learnt many things. I learnt more about God, I learnt the importance of fellowshipping with other Christians, I even volunteered to sing in the choir. People who didn’t know the reason behind would think that I was being spiritual. I thought, haleluyah.

Being imaginative wasn’t that good after all. There were a few times when he was walking towards my direction with a slip in his hand, I thought that he was going to drop me a love note. My heart was beating very fast and my hands were trembling. When he walked past me, only then did I realise that I was over reacting. He was actually preparing his speech for sharing with the church during the service.

It didn’t take me long to finally be able to get to know him. The church wasn’t that big and it wasn’t that difficult to find chances to talk to him. So for a year, I was like taking a ride on the merry-go-round, going round and round after him from a distance, never seemed to be able to get any nearer to him.

Finally words got into his ears that I was having a crush on him. He started not to show up at the church. I continued attending the service as usual, hoping that he’d turn up. For a year and a half, my crush for him had never faltered. It stopped when the day I started not to show up at the church.

* After I left church, we met again a few years later when we were in our early 20s. We were coupled for almost a year, almost got married but I ended up walking out on him. Fairy tale and reality are such a big difference.