Another quarrel again.
Last night, dad and mom had a quarrel over washing dishes. Poor brother and I, we did not even have a wink of sleep at all. They were yelling and shouting, and mom even brought up the issue, divorce.
I feel that divorce is like a flu. It comes and goes at a certain stage for the adults. In this century that we are living in whereby scientific research is so advanced, but why can’t they come up with a cure for treating divorce?
It was granny’s birthday. Dad ordered all of us to attend her birthday celebration. All my uncles and aunties were there as well yesterday. Granny's place was crowded and noisy.
After dinner, dad told mom to wash the dishes. Mom, who was obviously not very happy about it, sulked throughout the night. On our way home, dad told mom that she was not giving him any “face” at all and had disgraced him in front of his siblings.
“You care so much about what they think of you, then what about me? Your sisters need to rest on Sunday, how about me? Every time after cooking the meals, I still have to clean up and wash the dishes. I'm not a maid. I am in no obligation to serve those sisters of yours,” said mom.
Dad felt that mom was being petty, calculative and narrow-minded. Dad said that that was the reason why the Ching dynasty was destroyed. But mom said that if every man was to behave like dad, then Sun Yet Sin would not be able to overthrow the Ching dynasty. I thought, a communist revolution was about to erupt.
Not only could dad and mom quarrel over a minor issue like washing dishes, they quarrelled on other little issues like whose turn to wash the toilet bowl, how much pocket money three of us brothers and sisters should be taking, or even over our education. I thought, luckily every Chinese New Year we still have our red packets, if not I really can't think of any other big issues.
I remembered there was once when I was in the toilet, my younger brother had the need to pee. Dad told my brother to pee at the basin. Mom found out about it and kept scolding dad. Dad explained to mom as though he was a teacher to a student, saying, “You feel that it’s dirty because you know about it. If you don’t even know about it, you won’t feel disgusted at all.”
“Nonsense! Are you trying to say that if we’re not living a good life, the reason is not because that the environment isn’t good, but that of the fact that we know too much?” said mom in a defiant way.
“You can put it that way. In this world, be it human or things, almost every truth and lie, dirty or not dirty, even being afraid or not afraid, the main point is whether you know the differences between knowing and not knowing the truth. It may be a blessing in disguise if you don’t know that much. The lesser you know, the happier you are.”
Though at that time I was only eight years old, I felt that what dad had said was pretty profound. I thought, if only dad and mom didn’t have to know about our examinations’ result, they wouldn’t be so upset after looking at it.
If only parents didn’t know that in this world there are so many successful people around, we being their children, didn’t have to compete with other children for better grades, or to even take up extra lessons on piano, drawing, singing, etc. How tiring!
But mom didn’t seem to agree with this kind of explanation. She said, “Are you referring to the fling that you had with that vixen? It’s not too long ago, surely you can still remember, can’t you? Luckily I found out early, if not right now both of you might be having a rendezvous out on the Caribbean Sea.”
Dad’s expression was scary, his eyes were really wide and big. “Don’t say such things in front of the kids,” he said.
That didn’t stop my mom. In fact, her voice was even louder than before. “Didn’t you call yourself a man who can do something great like Sun Yet Sin? How come now you don’t even dare to admit the mistake that you’ve made?” said mom.
Almost everyone who lived in the same block as us could hear dad and mom’s quarrelling. How could not anyone hear it when they were louder than that of the ice cream man, who sold ice cream pushing his cart?
Dad couldn’t be bothered to quarrel with mom anymore, slammed the door and left the house. Mom locked herself up in the room for the whole day. She didn’t even come out when her favourite drama was aired.
In a few days time would be my nine years old birthday. I wondered would I still be able to have a happy birthday. Every year on my birthday, mom would say to me, “The older you are, the more sensible you should become. In this democratic society that we’re living in, not everything depends on whether you’re doing the right or wrong thing. The truth is whether are you popular and welcome by others or not. If you are, you’ve already succeeded at being a successful person.” I thought, Were dad and mom considered sensible or not?
The problem was, dad and mom were definitely more sensible than I was, and yet they didn’t seem to be much happier. I was much sensible than my younger brother and sister, but they seemed to be much happier than I was. Perhaps like what dad had said, the lesser you know, the happier you are.
Dad said, “In this world, the most irritating people will be women.”
Mom said, “If that’s the case, those men who like women must be idiots.”
Dad said, “Confucius couldn’t stand the most are women and children.”
Mom said, “Women and children can’t stand the most are guys who call themselves as the father of Confucius.”
I said, “I wish Confucius could tell dad and mom that children can’t stand the most are parents who quarrel almost every other day.”
*I grew up listening to parents quarrelled over small little things almost every other day. Now my parents no longer quarrel like in the past and I'm happy to see them doing fine now.
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